Look at All My Friends!
August 2002
In this article on Sales Call Reluctance,
Frank Lee examines the Separationist and the fear this person has of selling
to friends.
by Frank
Lee
Sales Academy,
Inc.
Robert was positively beaming! He had just hired his next big hitter and
he was already celebrating. After much negotiating, he had finally gotten Alec
Grant to become his latest insurance broker. Everyone in the office was looking
forward to working alongside Alec.
Why the excitement? Alec Grant was the son of a prominent and wealthy industrialist
with contacts all over the state. When asked about his friends, Alec produced
a list several pages long that read like a Who's Who. Robert was drooling dollars.
As he explained to me, "I don't care if he can't sell. Just open those doors,
and I'll have my best brokers in there in a heartbeat."
Of course, because of his connections, Alec did not have to undergo all the
rigorous screenings other applicants would have had to endure. Pity. Because,
if he had, Robert would have managed him a little bit differently.
It Didn't Turn Out Right Somehow
It took a good 6 months for Robert to admit he may have made a mistake. Despite
all the connections, Alec just never produced any of his friends. He did not
even produce any worthwhile introductions so others could follow up. He had
a litany of excuses, none of which sounded even remotely plausible to anyone
except him. As Robert noted, "He seemed reluctant to expose his friends to our
business."
In fairness, Alec did produce enough business to sustain himself. Perhaps
this is why Robert took so long to diagnose a problem. Looking back, Robert
realized that this business came from people that were not on Alec's list of
friends. That's when Robert did something he should have done at the interview
stage—he asked Alec to take some tests.
What's a Separationist?
Not surprisingly, Alec scored very high on a scale called Separationist Call
Reluctance. What on earth is a Separationist?
These are people who are afraid to do business with their friends. While
strangers may pose no problem, they become extremely uncomfortable when it comes
to exposing their friends to their business. They even avoid talking about their
business to their friends just in case they are misunderstood.
In my experience, this is one of the most difficult of the call reluctances
to remedy simply because sales people become defensive and uncomfortable when
talking about it. They play semantics. As one executive, discussed below, once
asked me, "Isn't it a matter of how you define your friends?"
This is a call reluctance that grows up with some sales people and which
is reinforced over the years. They had learned early on that one does not exploit
one's friends. Most of us have heard that saying. Some of us took it to heart
while others simply heard it. Those who took it to heart did not hear the obvious
follow through which is—"and what I do for a living is exploitation and it's
okay to exploit strangers but not my friends." Sales people with this call reluctance
bristle at that suggestion.
I have asked these sales people, "If you were buying something major, would
you rather buy it from a trusted friend or from someone you did not know?" They
usually answer that they would buy it from a trusted friend. My response is,
"Then why is the opposite not true—that your friends would also prefer to buy
from someone they know and trust?"
They become more agitated and defensive at this point and eventually walk
away in disgust. They think I'm evil for even talking in this blasphemous way.
Sales people with this form of sales call reluctance argue most vehemently about
it.
This shows that Separationist Call Reluctance is not a logical issue. If
it were, we could simply talk it away with pure logic. It is an emotional issue
that requires more mechanical methods to get rid of it.
Semantics
Dick, a highly placed executive, had showed high levels of Separationist
Call Reluctance. We were meeting to discuss several different aspects of training
for his branch. Of all the things he could have greeted me with that morning,
this is how he greeted me, "You asked a lot of questions about friends. Isn't
that a matter of how you define your friends?"
I was taken aback by this greeting. "What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well, I have a certain very close group of friends that I spend quality
time with. I would never talk business to them. Then I have another group of
friends where business talk is acceptable although only if one of them instigates
it. Then I have another group…."
I listened as he described how he had compartmentalized his friends. "What
do you think?" he asked me. "You're probably right." I told him. I knew there
was no logical end to this argument.
Another Cost
It was a good thing that Robert finally confirmed what he suspected. Alec
tested high in Separationist Call Reluctance. Now he could help Alec get through
it and eventually "exploit" his many friends.
There is another cost to this call reluctance. Repeat sales become difficult.
As sales people, we all know that when you make a sale, the relationship changes
from prospect to client, and from acquaintance to friend. That's when Separationists
start saying things to themselves like, "George is my friend. He knows what
I do. If he wants to buy more, he will contact me." They then become annoyed
with George when he buys additional stuff from others who have no hesitation
to ask for additional business. They almost feel betrayed. One more year and
Alec would have been in this position.
Can It Be Cured?
If the sales person has strong motivation, clear goals, and very little other
call reluctance, there is a good chance that being aware of what Separationist
Call Reluctance can do to a sales career may just be sufficient to keep it in
check. If, however, one or more of these measures fall outside acceptable limits,
then a more aggressive approach, such as a workshop, is probably the only thing
that will help the sales person.
What Happened to Alec?
One must understand something very important. Alec was not even aware of
his problem. He had fully intended to call on his friends. He was just emotionally
unable to do so. The lame excuses he made were made from habits he had developed
over the years. He was not a bad person. He simply would not allow himself to
do business with people he considered friends. He avoided them as a matter of
habit.
Alec was lucky. Not only did his motivation, goal level, and other important
scores look promising, he had a sales manager who understood how to manage people
with call reluctance. The last time I spoke to Robert, he was grinning like
the Cheshire cat.
Other Sales Call Reluctance articles include the following:
Call Reluctance, the Fear-Free
Prospecting and Self-Promotion Workshop, and all related terms are copyrights
and/or registered trademarks of Behavioral Sciences Research Press, Dallas,
Texas. Sales Academy, Inc., is an Advanced Authorized Dealer for the Call Reluctance®
Program. Frank Lee is an international expert on Call Reluctance®. He can be
reached at (800) 898-3743 or at franklee@sales-academy.com. He welcomes calls or e-mail from salespersons
and sales managers even if just to chat about the call reluctance problem.
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